You Are Jollof Rice!

“Oh my God, she’s too fat..I’m sure they sew her pant”🙄

“Why is she P-body shaped”

“The pimples on her face can scratch recharge card”

“Olympus has fallen”

“Suck belle make the shirt fine”

“Do you eat at all?? Why so skinny??”

If you belong to the category of people that bodyshame and reduce the self esteem of other people…..FUCK YOU!

Hey Jellybean! If you are reading this post and you are dealing with insecurities because of your body shape or size, God sent me to remind you that he doesn’t make mistakes which makes you perfect.

I am going to apologise once again for not feeding you for some weeks. To be honest, I have no valid excuse….or can i use laziness as an excuse ??…Lmao!!

In recent times, society has defined what “Sexy” should look like. If you do not have a perfectly structured hip, flat tummy, big “standing”boobs, an ass that can swallow up a G-string, a pretty face and curves that graduated from Harvard then you are not sexy in the eyes of “society”. If you think about it carefully….Who society epp???

I am so thrilled to be a part of this generation because it gives me so much joy to see women owning, loving and flaunting their imperfections on social media platforms and not giving two cents about anybody’s opinion. “Woke up like this” and not sorry about it bew!!

Early this year, I went on a “booty hunt”. You are probably wondering what I mean…I was on the search for bumbum and thickness. Someone should please ask me what I was looking for. Anyways, thick girls on Instagram used to give me joy. All the curves and “contours”…LMAO!!!

Like every other person, youtube is my “go-to-girl” for almost everything (after google anyways”. I watched weight gain videos and Apetamine (a multi-vitamin) was discussed as a weight gain supplement in almost every video I watched.

I went to the pharmacy to buy Apetamine after doing my “research”on YouTube. Even after hearing the crazy side effects the drug has on people, I still went ahead to buy it becauseeeeee “the booty must be made”.

I must say, it’s a very crazy supplement. In fact, i would not advise my worst enemy to buy Apetamine. The first time I used it, I was completely useless. My hands felt so heavy. I couldn’t feel myself. I slept for two days straight. Even to walk to the toilet to pee was a task for me. It took some days before the effects of the supplement wore off. I regretted buying it. That was the end of my booty and thickness hunt.

“Na yansh I no get, I nuh kee person” ✌

I wouldn’t say insecurities pushed me to go on the hunt. It was ojukokoro on my part. My point is some people end up enhancing their bodies because of insecurities and end up regretting their actions sometimes.

My dear brethren, I have decided to practice self love and appreciate my coconut bumbum. You should practice self love too. It’s healthy and helps to boost your confidence.

You are beautiful baby❤..Don’t let bad belle people make you feel otherwise abegg 🙄🙄

Stay away from people that make you feel like concoction rice, You are Jollof rice baby!!! 😁

I hope you enjoyed reading.

Don’t forget to Like, Comment and Share.

❤❤

Knowing Your Love Language

Hey Jellybean🌸🌸.

It’s been a minute! I missed you too. I know I went M.I.A last week due to my laziness and yeah girly problems too. Find a place in your cute little heart to forgive my inconsistency.

I’m going to be talking about love languages today! You are probably wondering what I mean by “Love Languages”. Keep reading and you’ll understand and even find out what your love language is.

So the other day, I was having a conversation with my sister and she asked me ” Yinka, what is your love language?” I didn’t even think about it twice and I replied ” Money” . My love language is hard currency plixxxx…. Let him tie all his money around my waist…He should give me authority to all his properties.

On a serious note though, if I think about it carefully, I feel loved using all the love languages but my primary love language is Words of Affirmation. Yesss!! I love hearing sweet words that will make my big head to swell even bigger..

According to Gary Chapman, there are 5 kinds of love languages that exist when it comes to human relationships. The 5 kinds of love languages are:

Quality Time : This language seems like it should be effortless and super easy but believe me when I tell you that the main problem of some relationships/marriages is lack of quality time.

Spending quality time with your significant other is super important in a relationship because it helps to strengthen the bond in a relationship. Personally, I feel quality time is more meaningful when your significant other takes time out of their busy schedule to be with you and is actively present (I.e His/her undivided attention).

Spending quality time with your SigOth could include doing chores together, watching and singing songs from a musical you both enjoy or basic stuff like having random conversations.

If your SigOth’s love language is Quality Time and you are one of the busiest bees in Nigeria, I implore you to make time out of your busy schedule to be with your significant other because that is the way he/she receives love.

Words Of Affirmation: In my opinion, people with this love language are the most unproblematic set of humans. hehehe…all they want is sweet words that will make their head to swell. They are the set of people that want to wake up to romantic epistles or mushy voicenotes from their significant other.

People that speak this language feel loved when they hear affectionate words from their significant other. Words like “I love you slice bread”, “You make life worth living” , “You dey make my body ta-na-na”, “your mama born you well” etc.

Saying sincere words of love and kindness is how people with this love language receive love.

Receiving Gifts : The first thing that probably comes to your mind about this love language is the “materialistic” girls you see on social media….sorry to burst your “bad belle bubble” but people that speak this love language don’t care about the cost of the gift rather they care about the love, effort and thoughtfulness behind the gift.

For people that speak this language, tangible and intangible gifts make them feel appreciated and noticed. It could be a birthday gift, anniversary gift or a simple “I saw it and I thought you would like it” kinda gift.

Acts Of Service : People who speak this love language feel loved when their partner does even the littlest of things to lighten their burden of responsibility. They receive love when their partner shows kindness or does anything that helps to reduce their stress. For instance, breakfast in bed, foot rubs after a long day at work etc

Physical Touch : People that speak this love language thrive on physical expressions of love. It could be sexual and non-sexual such as holding hands, hugs, kisses on the cheek, sexual intercourse etc. They feel seen when touched by their partner. It could even be a massage or booty rubs.

Knowing your love language is important for singles and people in committed relationships because it helps your potential/current partner understand the best way you receive or feel loved. If you have absolutely no idea what your love language is, koolu koolu your temper….I gatch you!

Click on the link below to take the “what’s your love language?” Test

https://www.psychologies.co.uk/tests/whats-your-love-language.html

I hope you enjoyed reading.

Don’t forget to like and comment.

Stay Safe sweethearts!

❤❤❤

Screen shopping on Instagram: Nigerian Fashion/Lifestyle bloggers.

Heyyyyyy Guyyyssss!!! It feels so good to be occupying your screen once again. I hope you are well and staying safe.

Going through the explore section of your Instagram page, you’d see a lot of fashionistas that will make you come to the conclusion that you might have clothes but you definitely do not have outfits.

A lot of us have this habit of taking screenshots of stuff that we like on the internet. It could be clothes, an hairstyle, shoes, a fabric, bags etc. We fill our screenshot folder with stuff that we can’t afford yet because we are still hoping for that heavenly alert so that we can be off on a shopping spree.

One of the things I do when i wake up in the morning is to board a bus and alight at the bus-stop of iyana-instagram. Then I take a 10 minutes stroll to arrive at explore street where I go to feed my eyes and spend the money I don’t have yet. That how I start some of my days on a “God When?” note.

My post this week is to enable you to add more pictures of stuff to your already existing “screenshotted” collection. May heaven credit our accounts and put an end to our ojukokoro….Lmao!

If you are someone that does a lot of impulse buying on the internet or you belong to the category of people that screenshot pictures of dresses to buy/sew then you should check out these accounts of Nigerian fashion and lifestyle bloggers in order to help you know what to buy and how to combine them so that you can look stylish.

Fisayo Longe IG: @fisayolonge

Creative Director/ Founder of KAI Collective, Fisayo Longe is one fashion/lifestyle blogger you definitely want to follow bumper to bumper if you want to possess any atom of style. Her designs are “bosslady-ish”. Little wonder why you see boss ladies (Temi Otedola, Jackie Aina, Kiki Mordi etc) rocking her designs.

One reason why I love Fisayo Longe is because she oozes the “I can do bad all by myself” vibe. Two of her designs are sitting pretty in my wishlist and those are the two I’m going to post on here but you can check out her other designs on her personal page or on her business page @kaicollective.

If you’ve been a permanent resident like me on instagram then you might have stumbled on one of her popular designs “Gaia”. It comes in two colours, Purple and Orange. Both colours have the top version but the purple comes in two forms, top and long dress while the orange comes in a top and a mini dress. It’s a really beautiful piece and what I absolutely love about the Gaia dress is how the colours swirl and compliment each other.

Fisayo Longe slaying her enemies in Gaia(purple)
Jackie Aina serving us in Gaia (orange) mini dress

The Beebeeta mini dress is one of the tools you need to feel like a bad bitch!! The dress comes in different colours and textures and it seems to be my favourite. The different colours and texture of Beebeeta mini Dresses are Powder blue, black cotton, Vegan leather, red cotton. Beebeta Vegan leather is my favourite.

Kiki Mordi in Beebeeta Mini Dress (vegan leather)
Fisayo Longe in Beebeeta Mini Dress (Red cotton)

Ronke Raji IG: @ronkeraji

I can’t even talk about lifestyle bloggers and not include the Queen Mother of fashion and lifestyle bloggers, Ronke Raji. I have been in love with her for over two years. Ronke Raji is Jack of all trades “fun” and definitely master of all. Her energy is the kind of energy you definitely want on your Instagram. Guess What???? She owns a YouTube channel too.

Ronke Raji

Ronke Raji wears different hats on her social media platforms. She wears the hat of a makeup artist (she is an exceptional one), the hat of a fashionista and on really good days when she is in the mood, she wears the hat of a motivational speaker (she gives advice and encourages people to be better versions of themselves).

On Ronke Raji’s social media platforms, you get to learn makeup, how to style hair and how to slay your demons in chilled outfits. Apart from being a lifestyle blogger, she is also a beauty influencer. She recommends beauty products.

Kiitana IG: @kiitana

Los Angeles based lifestyle blogger, Kitan Akinniranye, popularly known on instagram as Kiitana is someone I absolutely love and wouldn’t mind waking up in her body. Sometimes I refer to her as the “Mama Africa” of fashion and lifestyle bloggers. Kiitana is pretty open about different aspects of her life from fashion, to beauty, to travel.

She is also the founder of head wrap company, Atarah Avenue. If you are still struggling with how to tie a headwrap perfectly then go and sleep on Kiitana’s YouTube channel.

Onyi Moss IG:@mossonyi

Manchester based Nigerian Fashion, food and style blogger, Onyi Moss is the definition of “too blessed to be stressed”. She is super classy and that’s why I love her. She is also the creative director of United Kingdom based fashion brand, The Couple’s Edit. Onyi Moss is a self taught photographer and she defines stylish. Her instagram feed is beautifully curated and her pictures are perfectly edited.

Her Instagram feed

Going through her feed, you’d realize that she travels a lot and recommends beautiful places one should visit. She recommends beauty products and talks about her skincare routines. She slays even the clothes you might think are basic on a good day.

Fashion/Lifestyle bloggers make knowing what to buy in order to look classy really easy. I hope you enjoyed reading my post.

Remain safe and keep observing safety precautions.

❤🌺❤🌺❤🌺

My Favourite T.V Series (Bottom Pot)

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy Guysssssss!!!!

It is another brand new week (IMO, This month is “The Flash” of other months). I hope you guys are “doing well” and staying safe. Don’t forget Corona virus is still twerking around the world which means we still have to observe safety measures.

I am sure you guys must be high from the suspense I kept y’all on since last week (if I no use suspense kill una, wetin I gain?). Let me be a sweetheart by listing the remaining 5 series I think you guys should see. Like I always say, I’m going to skip all the okoto yarns and just dive right in..

Locked Up (4 Seasons)

Vis- A-Vis

The first time I heard about this series I didnt think I was going to like it. I even went to watch the trailer on YouTube and that killed my ginger to see it even more. I kept seeing tweets of other people talking about the series.

My very good friend, Tolu Akingbesote (Hey boo!) kept ringing “Yinka, go and see it” in my ears. I finally decided to give it a shot and from the first episode I was stuck.

Locked Up is about the lives of women who are prisoners at Cruz Del Sur Prison. I belong to the category of people that prefer this series to “Orange Is The New Black”. My favourite character is the one and only Zulema Zahir.

Zulema Zahir is “That Bitch”. Her cold heartedness made me love her even more. I love how each character developed in the course of the series and how we were given detailed information about the events that led to the imprisonment of some of the prisoners.

If you haven’t seen Locked Up, it’s not too late for your soul to be saved. You should check it out on Netflix.

Insecure ( 4 seasons)

Alexa play Wobble by VIC!!

Yassss people!! Watching the entire season of Insecure by Issa Rae will make you want to “wobble” your way through the entire season. It’s the kind of series you binge-watch with your girlfriends and yell comments like “Yassss bihhhhh”, “Damnnnnn”, “Get him hunnayyyy”…..

The series explores the friendship between two black crazy and not-so-crazy women in their mid-thirties (Issa Dee and Molly) and how they cope with the cards life deals them. Ngl, the 4th season made me dislike Molly. Her own became too much at some point but Issa Dee is still my home girl.

I can’t be the only one that thinks Issa Rae has the most infectious smile ever!! If you haven’t seen Insecure, you should check it out and thank me later.

Grand Hotel (1 season)

Watching this series made my respect for Eva Longoria-Baskett increase. The series is about a rich family that owns the last-family owned hotel in Miami Beach and the secrets and scandals they enveloped themselves in. I know right, rich people with rich people problems.

One thing I absolutely loved about watching this series was that it made me have “afternoon dreams”….I remember one time, after watching 2 episodes, i took a fire nap and had an afternoon dream and believe me when i say I rarely dream in the afternoons…

In the dream, I was sipping an expensive bottle of champagne by the beach side, sun bathing and looking like a bag of money and hell yes! I wasn’t in Nigeria because the breeze didn’t have the “stress and hardship” feeling that comes with Nigerian breeze.

I woke up and forced myself to smell the coffee (I was in Nigeria). Although, I love how the series ended. The suspense was top notch…You know all em series that make you scream “Are you fucking kidding me?” at the end..Yeah! That’s what Grand Hotel will make you do. You should check it out.

Tyler Perry’s Sistas (1 season)

Every girl has that clique she rolls with and tells her boy problems.

If you haven’t seen Sistas and you are a bit skeptical about seeing a Tyler Perry series because some people think his storylines are the same. A black woman is always the victim bla bla bla..I assure you that Sistas is nothing like that. It’s a very chilled series.

The first thing I love about Sistas by Tyler Perry is the theme song… You and I know that whatever Tyler Perry touches turns to Gold. This series centres on the lives of four ladies (Andy, Danny, Sabrina and Karen)that are super close and exchange secrets and relationship drama with each other.

Another thing I absoluely loved about Sistas was the fact that I could relate to some of the issues the characters went through especially the “boy problem” part.

You should check out Sistas. It’s really chilled. Anticipating the second season.

Sex Education (2 seasons)

When you hear Sex Education, what comes to your mind??A series with loads and loads of Sex abi…Lmao! Because that’s what came to my mind the first time I heard about the series…

Although the series is really interesting but it’s just about a bunch of teenagers exploring their sexualities, engaging in premarital sex and having really weird sex fetishes.

Apparently the people giving the “sex education” are Otis who is a virgin and his mother who is a sex psychologist. I know right, it’s really weird, a virgin giving sex advice…Naso we see am o!

If you haven’t seen this series, Buckle Up! Cuz it’s gonna be one hell of a “sex-talk” ride.

That’s gonna be all for my Top 10 series guys! If you are seeing this blog post for the first time, you should see my previous post to check out the first five. I want to believe some people have been rescued from boredom.

Don’t forget to wash your hands regularly and wear your face mask in public.

Have a lovely week ahead.

Love, Yeancah.

🌺🌺🌺

My Favourite TV Series

Hey Guysssssssssssssssssss!!!

It’s another fun day of kidnapping your eyeballs and attention for some minutes. I hope you guys are washing your hands regularly and staying out of trouble.

As a sweet en-gel that I am, i have taken it upon myself to be your Moses. You are probably lost and wondering what I mean by that. Let me break it down.

So, the other day, I was observing my baby girl lifestyle when the Holy Spirit dropped an instruction on my lap…the instruction goes “My chubby Dunni, It is time to save my other children from the shackles of boredom and I am giving you the mandate to liberate them from the impressions of boredom…Que sera sera….So yeah, that’s how I’m your Moses. Leading you into the promise land ( which is definitely fun)

And then it hit me. BOOM!! It’s time to recommend my favourite series (which of course are super interesting). I’m definitely not gonna list all my favourite series so I’ll just behave like an Omoluabi and list my favourite 10. I’m going to skip any unnecessary okoto meow meow and just go straight to the point.

AMBITIONS

🔥🔥🔥🔥

Had a long day at work? Did Lagos traffic frustrate you to the point where you just wanna leave your car in the traffic and walk home? Do you just wanna relass by binge-watching a very chilled series??

Praise the Lord brethren. I have got the perfect series for you. Ambitions explores various themes (love, power, politics)which makes it fun to watch. Although a part of me feels the producers of this series deserve to face firing squad because it has just one season. Can you imagine???

GREENLEAF

Honestly, Greenleaf made me question the church. It made me see the church as a place of business and not just a place of worship and refuge. The series is about a Christian Black Family that owns a Mega Church in the City of Memphis, Tennessee.

The Greenleaf’s are not just your regular black Christian family but a family swimming in secrets and scandals in order to keep the church “Black” and in the family. My favourite character still remains James Greenleaf. His sacarsm is wearing a Tom Ford suit. Greenleaf is just 5 seasons. It’s kind of an eye opener and it will make you raise eyebrows concerning the church.

STATION 19

All I want to be right now is a Firefigther🔥🔥

Fire-freaking- Fighters!!!! To be honest, watching a lot of tv series has made me open my heart to various fields of life . Not gonna lie, Seeing station 19 made me have one or two Dericas of regret about my discipline (Still got love for my fellow thespians though).

I think it’s one of the coolest jobs on the planet right now. A profession mixed with fire and swagg. Don’t even get me started on all the Mac Steamy’s they packed into one series. Boris Kodjoe is topping my list. Hallelujar!*In Madea’s voice* FYI, it’s the series I am seeing currently and I think you should too.

THE CHI

The Chi is an American series by Lena Waithe. If you’ve seen Queen n Slim, then you and I can agree on one thing, Lena Waithe is not on this planet to joke with anybody’s daddy.

She is a black writer I absolutely love and respect. She writes on touchy subjects that make you angry with the ills happening in the society.

It has 3 seasons and it’s currently being aired. The series is centered on the lives of residents in the south side of Chicago. The Chi is a series you should definitely check out.

BLOOD AND WATER

One thing I absolutely loved about “Blood and Water” is how straightforward it is and also very easy to understand. I never got bored at any point. Just one season with 6 episodes, they were able to tell the story perfectly (Unlike some series that have refused to end. A wonderful day to the producers of “The Flash”).

When Emmanuel told me about this series and even sent me the link to download it ,I was a bit skeptical because it was my first time seeing a South African series but I was super impressed with the series. You should check it out.

So I’m going to be stopping at just 5 series this week and next week I will complete the list for my top 10 series. A little bit of suspense doesn’t hurt😁.

If you have gone through my top 5 and you think I’m missing out on the good things of life by not seeing a particular series, please and please, recommend it in the comment section below.

I hope you have an awesome week. Don’t forget to wash your hands regularly and wear your face mask.

❤❤

Where is Styl – Plus ??

*pops champagne*

Hi guys!! I’m sure you are probably surprised that the almighty and lazy Yinka has started a blog. Do not be surprised young blood, this is what boredom and unemployment have led me to

Growing up in an african home and a time when social media wasn’t the “in-thing”, there were very few things that made me happy. Sometimes, I ponder on how I survived the dark times of my childhood. And then I remember how the jams of those days helped in easing the stress and wahala caused by our African parents and even the society at large.

There are very few nigerian artists that deserve a cold bottle of Okerebututu. I’m talking about the artists whose songs helped us kids back in the day dance away our sorrows

I’m talking about the likes of 2face, 9ice, Terry G, Faze, P-square, Mo’cheddah, MI,Weird MC, Sasha P, Mo’hits, Lagbaja and topping the list are my faves *drumroll*……STYL PLUS..

If you were lucky enough to experience the joy and ginger that came with listening to a STYL-PLUS song, then you don’t know what ABBA Father has done for you. From “Call My Name” to “Olufunmi”to “Iya Basira” to “Imagine That” and all other evergreen songs that they blessed us with. I remember the year they blessed us with “Expressions”. That year still remains one of my faves.

Lately, we’ve been listening to anything that comes out of the mouth of our current musicians. The good thing is I don’t belong to the category of people that are very particular about lyrics, I just want a beat that can make me shake my booty and get me out of whatever funk I’m in. That’s why you might see me dance to many songs that don’t have sensible lyrics😂😂

I still miss the days when songs had lyrics with a sprinkle of sense in them. Thank God for the likes of Asa,Brymo, Falz, Adekunle Gold, Johnny Drille, Ric Hassani, Simi, Korede Bello etc that bring us back to sanity🤧🤧

If you are done reading this short piece, you can drop your favourite STYL-PLUS song in the comment section below.

PS : This is my first short piece. I hope it’s a good read!

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